btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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