do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
