Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
