Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
