shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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