i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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