it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
