just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
