You really coming over, don't trick.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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