So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
