Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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