Slut skills are useful in every country.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize