i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
