Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
