Cold hands, warm shart.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
