tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
