what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
