69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
