Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize