I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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