Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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