Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hippo gnu deer
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
