yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
