I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What drink are we having for lunch?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I fill condoms, not promises.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
