Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
