he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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