Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
