Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
