Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
