just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
