Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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