why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
