Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize