Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
