Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do vagina's smell?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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