sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
