oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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