I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
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