she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
