I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
