is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
everyone is single if you try hard enough
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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