I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She said her name was "party"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
