i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
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Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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