are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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