I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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