He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
