we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
