are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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