First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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