No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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