Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize