For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
