I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
