Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
