He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
