Buhtt sex?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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