Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
