You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
North Korea, Best Korea!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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