If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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