Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
