I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
