Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How does one acquire holy water?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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