im having a threesome with these popsicles
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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