so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
