I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
