i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize