the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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